I’ve been sitting with the saying “It’s lonely at the top,” and I realize it has been planted in my subconscious, making me fearful of my own light and fearful to grow. I had to sit with that saying and ask myself: who does it actually serve to believe that it’s lonely at the top?
I realized that this statement serves external systems outside of myself.
It serves capitalism.
It serves white supremacy.
It serves patriarchy.
It serves things that are not supportive of what I want to do, what I need to do, and what God is calling me to do.
God is calling me to expand, and with this expansion, it’s been very uncomfortable.
This year I have challenged myself in ways I didn’t know I could. My business, Where is Neva (a multi-business ecosystem rooted in holistic well-being and liberatory strategy), has done some big things. With W.I.N., we worked on our operations. We created SOPs to iron out details so that we, as a team, can always be on the same page. We built processes for conflict resolution, onboarding, offboarding, and so many other things. We strengthened our marketing by studying B2B and B2C so we can speak the language of our target audience and reach them.
One of the businesses under the umbrella, The JMB Collective, supports mission-driven organizations in achieving sustainable impact through restorative, culturally rooted strategies and experiences that strengthen leadership, teams, and the communities they serve. This year, we worked with a government housing agency. We conducted trauma-informed trainings for their youth coordinators and partnered with them on a youth summit serving about 50 girls. We launched two youth programs, Embodied Self-Love and Sustaining Self-Love, which allowed us to hire contractors to support this work. We also held a dinner for Sustaining Self-Love called Communal Love, which was a clothing swap and dinner.
The other business under the ecosystem, Whole-listic Well, guides individuals to cultivate inner alignment, authentic connection, and holistic well-being through transformative experiences, intentional practices, and communal support. This year, we scaled down the number of Paint and Meditate experiences we offered so that we could gain capacity for other things. This allowed us not only to sell out one of our Paint and Meditate events, but also to have a waitlist of people who wanted to join.
There were so many layers in which I had to face myself, my insecurities, and my self-doubt in order to build self-awareness. I had to keep reminding myself that it doesn’t have to be lonely at the top. If I delegate and ask people, “Hey, can you help me with this?,” anything is possible.
We can all make it to the top and then support others to get there. I don’t want to do this alone. I shouldn’t have to do this alone.
There’s too much abundance around us for us to forget that there is enough to go around. I’m currently reading Braiding Sweetgrass, in which Robin Wall Kimmerer speaks about how nature shows us that we have enough. Trusting and listening to nature, being one with nature, and being held in nature are what will continue to grow us.
My team and I are closing out the 2026 working with partners, to enter our sabbatical. This time will support us in getting rejuvenated for 2027 to build capacity for the expansiveness of this work.
White supremacy tells us it’s lonely at the top so that we will be fearful of the top. But as communal beings, we want to belong, which means we have to name what we need and want. We can’t be hyper-focused on this person or that person to give it to us. Instead, we continue to tread our path to our divine calling, knowing that we are always being held, especially in nature.
I am looking out the window as I type this, noticing the evergreen trees that tower over my house. They are tall, and there are three right in front of me. They are not lonely up there. Instead, they are grounded, rooted, and in conversation with each other, giving us fresh air to breathe.
I am one with trees. You are one with trees. We all belong at the top.
So I am working on changing my subconscious from the statement “It is lonely at the top” to the question: What is my definition of the top, and who do I want to serve as I continue to grow?
I challenge you to join me. You down?
Deep gratitude.
